WHAT A HUSBAND TOLD HIS WIFE ON THEIR WEDDING NIGHT

My wife, everyone has gone home. The music is quiet, the celebration is over. Our wedding was beautiful but it is now in the past. We have finished the wedding Ceremony, it is now time to build our marriage. All that is left now is the two of us… What we will become tomorrow, starts from tonight. Our life is no longer the same.
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There was a day you put on one red dress… You looked so beautiful in it. That Day I wanted to just touch you! We were in the Cinema and I was so tempted. I wanted to just take you outside and kiss you but I couldn’t. Guess what? Now I have you forever, I can do that everyday. Before I take off your cloth and make love to you…
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Let me tell you few things. I have nothing to hide from you from this day. My phone, you can use it like your own. You can access my facebook, my twitter and my Instagram From today, I have become a child.
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For the past five years of my life, I have been a man. I wake myself up in the morning, sometimes I go to bed hungry, I do things the way I want to. I come home whenever I want to but all that ends today. From today you become my mother, who will scold me when I come home late, a mother who will wake me up at six to go work, a mother who will ensure I don’t sleep hungry. I am glad I have a mother in you. I hope you will be a good mother? Don’t be too harsh and I promise I won’t be too stubborn.
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Sometimes I will give you headache but I promise, I will also be the cure of every headache. When my parents died, I looked after my brothers and sisters. I was like a father to them. So i will not have Any problem being a father to you!

THIRTY RULES EVERY GODLY WOMAN MUST FOLLOW.

1.  Never raise your voice for any reason to your husband. Its a sign of disrespect. (Prov 15v1)
2. Don't expose your husband's weaknesses to your family and friends. It will bounce back at you.You are each other's keeper REMEMBER.(Eph 5v12)
3. Never use attitudes and moods to communicate to your husband, you never know how your husband will interpret them. Defensive women don't have a happy home its a fact.(Prov 15v13)
4. Never compare your husband to other men, you've no idea what their life is all about. If you attack his Ego, his Love for you will diminish.
5. Never ill treat your husband's friends because you don't like them, the person who's supposed to get rid of them is your husband.(Prov 11v22)
6. Never forget that your husband married you, not your maid or anyone else. Do your duties even if it may not be easy sometimes.(Gen 2v24)
7. Never assign anyone to give attention to your husband, people may do everything else but your husband is your own responsibility.(Eph 5v33)
8. Never blame your husband if he comes back home empty handed. Rather encourage him, by that doing you give him the strength to do so next time.(Deut 3v28)
9. Never be a wasteful wife, your husband's sweat is too precious to be wasted.
10. Never pretend to be sick for the purpose of denying your husband sex. You must give it to him how he wants it. Sex is very important to Men, if you keep denying him, it is a matter of time before another woman takes over that duty. No man can withstand sex starvation for too long(even the anointed ones) (SS 7v12)
11. Never compare your husband to your one time sex mate in bedroom, or an Ex-lover. Your home may Never recover from it if you do.(SS 5v9)
12. Never answer for your husband in public opinion polls, let him handle what is directed to him although he may answer for you in public opinion polls.(Prov 31v23)
13. Never shout or challenge your husband in front of children. Wise Women don't do that.(Eph 4v31)
14. Don't forget to check the smartness of your husband before he checks out.(Prov 12v4)
15. Never allow your friends to be too close to your husband.
16. Never be in a hurry in the bathroom and on the dressing table. Out there your husband is always surrounded by women who took their time on their looks.( 1 Sam25v3)
17. Your parents or family or friends do not have the final say in your marriage. Don't waste your time looking up to them for a final word. You must Leave if you want to Cleave.(Luke 21v16)
18. Never base your love on monetary things. Will you still submit to him even if you earn more money than him?
19. Don't forget that husbands want attention and good listeners, never be too busy for him. Good communication is the bed rock of every happy home. (Gal 6v9)
20. If your idea worked better than his, never compare yourself to him. Its always teamwork.(Gal 6v10)
21. Don't be too judgmental to your husband. No man wants a Nagging wife.(Eph 4v29)
22. A lazy wife is a careless wife. She doesn't even know that her body needs a bath.(Prov 24v27)(Prov 20v13)
23. Does your husband like a kind of cooked food?, try to change your cooking. No man jokes with food. (Prov 31v14)
24. Never be too demanding to your husband,enjoy every moment, resource as it comes.(Luke 11v3)
25. Make a glass of water the very first welcome to your husband and everyone entering your home. Sweetness of attitude is true beauty. (Prov 31v11)
26. Don't associate with women who have a wrong mental attitude about marriage.(Prov 22v14)
27. Your marriage is as valuable to you as the value that you give it. Recklessness is unacceptable.(Heb 13v4)
28. Fruit of the womb is a blessing from the Lord, love your children and teach them well.(Prov 22v6)
29. You are never too old to influence your home. Never reduce your care for your family for any reason. (Prov 31v28)
30. A prayerful wife is a better equipped wife,pray always for your husband and family(1 Thess 5v17)

WHAT A FATHER TOLD HIS DAUGHTER A DAY BEFORE HER WEDDING

1. My Daughter, tomorrow you will stop bearing my name. You will be happily married to the man you love. Don't miss me because I have fulfilled my purpose, it is now time for you to start fulfilling yours. 
2. From your childhood, I have raised you well by the grace of God but before you say I do, there are few things I need to tell you about living with a man and being married.

• Do you remember when you wrote your GCE O/L and GCE A/L exams? You came to me and I gave you 20,000 FCFA for the registration? Well, even though I gave it to you, the money was not mine. I know you always thought I paid the fees. The truth is, I was broke… but your mother gave me the money. She could have given it to you but she decided to give it to me to give to you.
• Support your husband. Some times things will get tough… he will be frustrated. Even though he acts tough, in his mind he has fears… he fear you may not value him anymore because he has fallen. That is the time to get behind him and support him!
• The best way to show your husband you love him is to respect him! You may argue with him, you may disagree but at the end of the day, let him know he has your respect.
• Do you remember the day I screamed at your mother? What did she do? She was quiet! Do you also remember the day she screamed at me? What did I do? I was quiet! My daughter learn to be quiet sometimes when your husband is angry. When one person is hot, the other should be cool. If two are always screaming at same time, that is how big problems start in marriage. The first thing to know about your husband is his favourite food! If he has more than one then keep them at the back of your mind. Dont let him ask for it, always prepare it for him.
• There was a day your mother caught me touching a woman’s hand affectionately. I was lust after that woman but I was not yet cheating on your mum. When she saw us… she didnt fight the lady, she quietly left. I was afraid of going home because all hell will break lose. But when I got home she said nothing. She served me my food. Guilt was taking control over me. I started begging. From that day, I never looked at a woman two time. Who knows? If she had fought and threatened me… maybe I could have run away from the fight into the arms of the lady. Sometimes Silent brings better solution than fight.
• Forget those romantic novels you read while you were 21. Remember those Indian and American love movies? Also remember those too sweet Nollywood films on African magic? Forget them! Don’t expect your married life to be that way. Life is different from fiction
• The last thing I want to tell you…. Do you remember how you were born? After our wedding, things were tough and your mum had to do two jobs to support us. I was working as well. I get home 6 PM while she gets home 8pm tired. But when we get to bed… she will not refuse me my night food. That is how you were born. Dont form a habit of denying your husband of his night food.
• Be a good wife. You will always be Daddy’s girl…

P.S. LOVE.

Interview btwn a Kenyan immigrant & d consular at d Embassy.....Interview Starts...

OFFICER:- what is your name?
MUZO:- M.P sir

OFFICER:- In full please
MUZO:- Muzo Phiri
OFFICER:- your father's name?
MUZO:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- what does that mean?
MUZO:- Melvin Phiri
OFFICER:- your native place?
MUZO: M.P sir
OFFICER:- what's that?
MUZO:- Muchinga Province
OFFICER:- what is your qualification?
MUZO:- M.P
OFFICER:- (angry) what is thaat?!!!
MUZO:- Mathematics Professor
OFFICER:- so why do you need a job?
MUZO:- it is because of M.P sir
OFFICER: meaning?
MUZO:- Money Problems
OFFICER:- would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What's your personality like?
MUZO: M. P sir.
OFFICER: and what is that?
MUZO:- Marvelous Personality
OFFICER:- I see... I will get back to you.
MUZO:- sir, how was M. P sir?
OFFICER:- and what's that again?
MUZO:- My Performance.
OFFICER:- I think u already have M. P
MUZO:- m.e.a.n.i.n.g?
OFFICER:- Mental Problem!!!
Don't laugh alone. Send it to those u desire to put smile on their faces. God bless.
I have sent this to u because u are M.P. (My Padi).

TEN MOST ANNOYING MOMENTS IN LIFE

1. That moment you when you are so hungry that you take out your last 100 FCFA on you to purchase and the woman selling notices that write ups had fade out and refuses to give you food.
   
2. That moment you are well dressed in white suit and your friend comes and tap you on your shoulder after eating eru
   
3. That moment you spend 3.5 million FCFA to organize your wedding and while on the dance floor with your newly wedded wife, people keep spraying 500 FCFA notes.
   
4. That moment you meet a new chick on the road and on trying to give you her number, you notice that you have low battery.
   
5. That moment you are out on  date, ready to conclude that night, and after eating enough suya she tells you she is on her period.
   
6. That moment when arm robbers burst into your home and dis-virgin(rape) your newly wedded wife you have been keeping for the past 10 years.
   
7. That moment  you did a night travel and on arriving home, you find no food to eat and everyone in the neighbor hood is sleeping.
   
8. That moment when things are just about to get serious between you and your girl just for ENEO (SONEL autant pour moi) cease light.
   
9. That moment when you enter an exam hall and notice that you know nothing on the paper.
   
10. That moment in life when the girl you have been trying to get with pass by your house finally and you notice that you have no protection left. LOL.