LADIES BEWARE

1. Success is not sexually transmitted, so stop sleeping with successful men, thinking that you will be successful. It doesn't work that way. So stop and work hard.
2. Please do not wear the same weave for nine months, its not pregnancy, for goodness sake.
3. Half naked girls are hot, yeah definitely, but well dressed girls are beautiful, just like hell is hot and heaven is beautiful. Just saying ohh.
4. Stop saying you cannot date a man who lives with his mother yet your dating a man who lives with his wife. It doesn't make sense really!!!
5. Do not look at what a guy drives but what drives him. Definitely what drives him is better that what he drives right?. Yeah that's true.
6. Before You call a guy ugly, remember 95% of Your beauty can be removed by just a towel. Inbox me and I will explain what i meant if you don't understand. LOL
7. When you were in campus you refused to date guys in campus and dated married men, when you get married you brag you can't share a man, relax ma sister I believe in payback time. "Chaqun a son tour chez le coiffeur" -- L.M MOPAO.
8. Lastly my advice for you is learn to call and consult God first in every situation in life and not your neighbor.

Like, comment, share and follow my blog for more. :-)

THE PROBLEM IS!!!

1. Kissing your man is not a problem. The problem is how you do it. Stop making Sounds like a car crash. Really it sucks.
   
2. Screaming during Sex is romantic and its not a problem. The problem is Shouting words like ; " JESUS, OOH MY GOD, HOLY MARY" You are having Sex, Not a Church Service. And besides I don't know if you are reminding God to Punish you Later or something.
   
3. Wearing short skimpy skirts is not a problem, in fact its very Sexy. The problem is wearing your Mini and looking all nice but when you see Guys,you try to Pull it down now forcing it to be long. Don't you see that you are deceiving yourself?.
   
4. Loving your man is not a problem. The problem is Changing your Surname on Facebook and putting his surname before your name where as he has not even Introduced you to his mother. Just Chill, I would hate to read your Post Later saying " MEN ARE WICKED AND CHEATS".
   
5. Saying all Men are the Same is not a problem. In fact, maybe its true but Who asked you to try them ALL?.
   
6. Bleaching your skin is not a problem. The problem is having White Face, Yellow hands, Chocolate Lips, Black Legs. Hey, Are you a rainbow?
   
7. Wearing your trousers down like the prisoners of Guantanamo is not a problem. The problem is walking as though you wear carrying a piece of crap in your pants.
   
8. Stealing during an examination is not a problem, the problem is telling your kids that you were great at school and yet not able to write a simple hello world program.
   
9. Wearing Brazilian hair is not a problem, the problem is the fact that you are being caught stealing one in your neighbor's room.
   
10. Liking this is not a problem, the problem is not sharing the fun with your friends.

Interview btwn a Kenyan immigrant & d consular at d Embassy.....Interview Starts...

OFFICER:- what is your name?
MUZO:- M.P sir

OFFICER:- In full please
MUZO:- Muzo Phiri
OFFICER:- your father's name?
MUZO:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- what does that mean?
MUZO:- Melvin Phiri
OFFICER:- your native place?
MUZO: M.P sir
OFFICER:- what's that?
MUZO:- Muchinga Province
OFFICER:- what is your qualification?
MUZO:- M.P
OFFICER:- (angry) what is thaat?!!!
MUZO:- Mathematics Professor
OFFICER:- so why do you need a job?
MUZO:- it is because of M.P sir
OFFICER: meaning?
MUZO:- Money Problems
OFFICER:- would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What's your personality like?
MUZO: M. P sir.
OFFICER: and what is that?
MUZO:- Marvelous Personality
OFFICER:- I see... I will get back to you.
MUZO:- sir, how was M. P sir?
OFFICER:- and what's that again?
MUZO:- My Performance.
OFFICER:- I think u already have M. P
MUZO:- m.e.a.n.i.n.g?
OFFICER:- Mental Problem!!!
Don't laugh alone. Send it to those u desire to put smile on their faces. God bless.
I have sent this to u because u are M.P. (My Padi).

WELCOME TO MY COUNTRY CAMEROON

1. Its only in Cameroon where Jesus sends you a whats-app message and threatens you if you don't forward it to others.
2. Its only in Cameroon where pastors and preachers are more funnier than comedians!
3. Its only in Cameroon where one person will occupy 5 offices while others have none.
4. Its only in Cameroon where tax paid on outdated cars is less than those on fashion cars.
5. Its only in Cameroon where a man's wife calls him by the amount he gives her.
6. Its only in Cameroon where people after withdrawing money from the Bank's ATM MACHINE, stand there to count the money again.
7. Its only in Cameroon where every boy protects his sister from his friends but wants to have someone's sister.
8. Its only in Cameroon where ladies wear classy heels with slipper in their bags as rescue.
9. Its only in Cameroon where a blind has a driving license to drive Caterpillar "A".
10. Its only in Cameroon where cassava farmers double the price of Garri and say..."the economy is hard oo"
11. Its only in Cameroon where you fine out that there are more taxis than private vehicles.
12. Its only in Cameroon where blind people can identify counterfeits.
13. Its only in Cameroon where the youths will complain of poverty and unemployment but still stay up late at night in bars and snacks drinking out their senses.
14. Its only in Cameroon where you see fathers of 80 years trying to build "house for the old" for people of 50.
15. Its only in Cameroon where you fine a civil servant occupying a post in the government for more than 50 years.
16. Its only in Cameroon where the youths will complain of the government but will not want to vote when the time comes.
17. Its only in Cameroon where the female football team does better than the male football team.
18.  Its only in Cameroon where a policeman will see a goat and call it cat with all conviction.
19. Its only in Cameroon where the youths want high paid jobs but are not ready to work 12 hrs a day.
20. Its only in Cameroon where people will say i criticize a lot after reading this post. But I'm just saying.

WHAT SHALL IT PROFIT -- BY FEMENCHA AZOMBO FABRICE

1. What shall it  profit a lady to put on the dearest Brazilian hair and yet still look ugly?
2. What shall it profit a man to have enough money yet still have no girl friend?
3. What shall it profit a boy/girl to break a girl/boy's heart?
4. What shall it profit a girl apply makeups and yet no man looks at her on the streets?
5. What shall it profit a girl to have all the Brazilian hair in the world and still loose her boy friend to a girl with low hair cut?
6. What shall it profit a man to gain the whole world and loose his/soul?

TEN MOST ANNOYING MOMENTS IN LIFE

1. That moment you when you are so hungry that you take out your last 100 FCFA on you to purchase and the woman selling notices that write ups had fade out and refuses to give you food.
   
2. That moment you are well dressed in white suit and your friend comes and tap you on your shoulder after eating eru
   
3. That moment you spend 3.5 million FCFA to organize your wedding and while on the dance floor with your newly wedded wife, people keep spraying 500 FCFA notes.
   
4. That moment you meet a new chick on the road and on trying to give you her number, you notice that you have low battery.
   
5. That moment you are out on  date, ready to conclude that night, and after eating enough suya she tells you she is on her period.
   
6. That moment when arm robbers burst into your home and dis-virgin(rape) your newly wedded wife you have been keeping for the past 10 years.
   
7. That moment  you did a night travel and on arriving home, you find no food to eat and everyone in the neighbor hood is sleeping.
   
8. That moment when things are just about to get serious between you and your girl just for ENEO (SONEL autant pour moi) cease light.
   
9. That moment when you enter an exam hall and notice that you know nothing on the paper.
   
10. That moment in life when the girl you have been trying to get with pass by your house finally and you notice that you have no protection left. LOL.

10 STUPID QUESTIONS PEOPLE ASK

1.  You see identical twins, yet you still ask " are those identical twins??" -- Answer "No Na film you di watch. You Blind??".
   
2. SONEL/ENEO brings back light after a long while and everyone in the quarter starts screaming 'Wehhhhhhh light don came!!' and yet one stupid guy still ask "O boy na light dat so??" -- Answer "No na fire di burn the whole quarter. You Yam".
   
3. You see someone vomiting and yet you ask "You are not feeling fine??" -- Answer "Yes I'm feeling fine, I'm just learning how to vomit. Idiot".
   
4. You  just wake up from sleep and your brother/sister/others after noticing that you were sleeping still ask "You don wakeup???" Answer "No i came buy bread weh a go chop for dream. Tshuiiiiip".
   
5. You see a woman who just put to birth a new born baby and yet you still ask "ehhh Madam you don Born???" -- Answer "No A winnam for pari foot. You carry witch come??".
   
6. You see you mum early in the morning and you greet her good morning but she still ask "My son you don wakeup???" --  Answer "No mum, I'm just sleep walking, You to ohhhh".
   
7. My friend ask me "A sah ehh boy you deh which conner??" A tell yi say " a deh Money Gram down molyko" and yet as stupid as he is he asked me "you di do weti for deh???" --- Answer "A came harvest Yam. Non sense."
   
8. Your neighbor sees you opening the gate to go out and yet ask you "You do comot???" -- Answer "NO a be the new gate man *LMAO*" .
   
9. I'm watching my movie and my friend still comes in and ask "Boy you di watch film???" --- Answer "No a di Skype with  Vin Diesel".
   
10. You are eating plantains and beans and you friend comes in and ask "Boy na beans that so???" -- Answer "No na shit for goat. Na who di sep???".